THE WOUNDED SELF
THE DEFEATED CHILD, Social Masochism & Patterns of Self Defeat
How to work with SOCIAL MASOCHISM AND THE PATTERNS OF SELF-DEFEAT
This workshop will concentrate on healing the masochistic wound of the defeated child.
Many people have some masochistic tendencies in their personality. A strong masochistic adaption is a response to an overwhelmingly powerful parent who broke the will of the child and left no way for the child to defend himself, save one – self defeat.
The only way to defeat the other was by learning to enjoy one’s own defeat. Underneath, lies a chronic hopelessness, pessimism and despair. Pleasure is experienced as a threat and will lead to anxiety and guilt. Pleasure invites control or punishment from the internalised, bad parental object.
The most common response from the therapist is frustration which, if acted out, shames the client. Denial of frustration leads to a dead therapeutic relationship. Change involves accessing forbidden feelings of rage and pleasure, and tolerating the anxiety which will arise from the deep fear of again being beaten and having one’s heart broken.
The workshop will enable you to:
- Identify masochistic behaviour and its functions
- Understand the developmental events that lead to masochism
- Understand the need for guilt and self defeating behaviours
- Learn how to work effectively with frustration
- Learn how to support the emerging, natural self