THE WOUNDED SELF
THE ABANDONED CHILD, The Oral Dependant Character
How to work with the ORAL DEPENDANT CHARACTER
The Oral Dependant character is formed when the need for symbiotic attunement and nourishment is given up and denied before it is satisfied. The oral character is abandoned either literally or emotionally and is severely traumatised. They could be seen as an undernourished and exhausted baby who has given up and stopped crying because her cries have no effect.
There is an underlying element of learned helplessness in the oral character: Aggression and assertiveness are weak and they are unable to reach out or make sustained effort to arrange their life so that it will work. They experience loneliness, jealousy, and fear of abandonment. The typical oral compromises by becoming loving and giving, but often does so in ways which demand this in return. They may often commit to responsibilities, which they cannot sustain and fail to realise dreams of independence, which are beyond their limited energetic capacities. There is often a manic-depressive quality to the oral’s functioning. The oral dependant can be hard to help because they are passive aggressive and complaining.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Understand the developmental origins of the Abandoned child
- Identify the Oral Dependant character adaptation
- Recognise the patterns of Oral collapse and Oral compensation
- Understand the Oral defences and the games that are typically played out
- Explore the co-dependent relationships of the Oral Character
- Understand the successful strategies for working therapeutically with the oral character