# Coleby
> Freedom Choice Strength
## Posts
- [UNDERSTANDING THE BORDERLINE MOTHER](https://colebycentre.com/understanding-the-borderline-mother/): THE WOUNDED SELF Understanding The Borderline Mother How to work with the BORDERLINE MOTHER The first thing we must understand in life is our mother. Recognising her face, her expressions, the sound of her voice, and the meaning of her moods is essential to survival, and we do it automatically. Children with borderline mothers begin their lives with an insecure attachment to an emotionally unstable mother. Thus these children risk becoming impulsive, rage-filled, oppositional, aggressive, depressed and violent. The term borderline means the emotional state can border between psychosis and neurosis, particularly when faced with abandonment or rejection. Adult children of […]
- [THE EMPTY MIRROR](https://colebycentre.com/the-empty-mirror/): THE WOUNDED SELF -Continuous Professional Development for Therapists THE EMPTY MIRROR, Exploring Maternal Narcissism How to work with the MATERNAL NARCISSIST This workshop focuses on healing the daughters of maternal narcissism. Whilst boys and girls experience emotional disruptions when a narcissistic father or mother raises them, the mother-daughter dynamic is distinctive. The daughter of a narcissistic mother faces unique struggles that her brothers don’t share. Based on the work of Stephen Johnson and Karyl McBride we will explore how to: Understand the developmental origins of narcissistic injury Explore the 9 traits of a narcissistic personality and how they present themselves in […]
- [THE USED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-used-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF -Continuous Professional Development for Therapists THE USED CHILD, The Narcissistic Experience How to work with the NARCISSISTIC INJURY This workshop will concentrate on healing the narcissistic wounds of the used child, exploring different theories, methods and techniques that can help heal the narcissistic injury. The narcissistic wound is a deep injury to the experience of the real self. True self expression, in response to early injuries, is replaced by a highly developed, compensatory false self. The child is used in as much as she/he is told: By being aware of our own narcissistic wounds, we […]
- [THE OWNED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-owned-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF THE OWNED CHILD, The Symbiotic Character How to work with the SYMBIOTIC CHARACTER The essence of the Symbiotic character etiology is this: natural attempts at separation are blocked, cause parental anxiety, or are actively punished. At the same time the child’s natural abilities for empathic mirroring are over valued and reinforced by parents who require merger with the child in order to feel secure or worthwhile. The Symbiotic has not developed a self they can call their own, but has learned to borrow or fuse their identity with someone else. The symbiotic has not been able to express […]
- [THE HATED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-hated-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF – CPD for Therapists THE HATED CHILD, Understanding the Schizoid Experience How to work with the Understanding the Schizoid Experience The schizoid experience basically involves a failure in the attachment process. The Hated or Unwanted Child essentially perceived or experienced their earliest life, in the womb and beyond, as a hostile reception where they were rejected not just in their own nature and humanity, but for existing at all. The child felt threatened and unsafe, and may have wanted to die rather than continue in life. As a result a person with a Schizoid adaptation has significant […]
- [THE EXPLOITED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-exploited-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF THE EXPLOITED CHILD, Hysterical Defences & the Histrionic Personality How to work with the HYSTERICAL DEFENCES & THE HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY The HISTRIONIC personality adaptation exhibits an addiction to drama. Acting-out is used as a way of protecting against feeling-in. The primary defence is dissociation. Artificial feelings are used as a shield against deep, real feelings. Addictions such as drugs, alcohol, compulsive spending, eating disorders, promiscuity, love affairs, and fantasies of “one day my prince will come” also provide protection against memories and feelings too painful and shameful to bear. In the HISTRIONIC personality there will frequently have been […]
- [THE DISCIPLINED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-disciplined-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF THE DISCIPLINED CHILD, The Obsessive-Compulsive Personality How to work with the OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY The person with an obsessive compulsive personality is sometimes called a Responsible Workaholic. They make good managers and are conscientious and responsible. They are neat and well groomed and become pillars of society, model citizens who want to be perfect and do everything right. Their strictly, rule bound parents will have punished them for any form of spontaneous, free expression, particularly if it is to do with sexuality and aggression, and this creates a taming and subduing of their vital animal nature. Suppressing spontaneous […]
- [THE DEFEATED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-defeated-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF THE DEFEATED CHILD, Social Masochism & Patterns of Self Defeat How to work with the ORAL DEPENDANT CHARACTER This workshop will concentrate on healing the masochistic wound of the defeated child. Many people have some masochistic tendencies in their personality. A strong masochistic adaption is a response to an overwhelmingly powerful parent who broke the will of the child and left no way for the child to defend himself, save one – self defeat. The only way to defeat the other was by learning to enjoy one’s own defeat. Underneath, lies a chronic hopelessness, pessimism and despair. Pleasure […]
- [THE ABANDONED CHILD](https://colebycentre.com/the-abandoned-child/): THE WOUNDED SELF THE ABANDONED CHILD, The Oral Dependant Character How to work with the ORAL DEPENDANT CHARACTER The Oral Dependant character is formed when the need for symbiotic attunement and nourishment is given up and denied before it is satisfied. The oral character is abandoned either literally or emotionally and is severely traumatised. They could be seen as an undernourished and exhausted baby who has given up and stopped crying because her cries have no effect. There is an underlying element of learned helplessness in the oral character: Aggression and assertiveness are weak and they are unable to reach […]
## Pages
- [The Therapists](https://colebycentre.com/the-therapists/): Meet Our Therapists GET IN TOUCH MBACP (Accred) Jacqueline Hart BA (Hons) Psych, MNACHP, NLPtCA Acc, TLTA, UKCP Gill Coleby get in touch Email Usgill@colebycentre.comor Book a Workshop CPD Workshops for Therapists
- [Therapy Rooms](https://colebycentre.com/therapy-rooms/): Get a comfortable Therapy Rooms to Hire We have therapy/consulting rooms available for hire, ideally suited for qualified counsellors, psychotherapists and hypnotherapists. We have rooms that are bright, spacious and comfortable, providing a peaceful, confidential and safe environment for both the therapist and their clients. The rooms are suitable for individuals, couples and small groups.The Coleby Centre offers flexible terms and you are welcome to come along and view the centre yourself. Please contact us if you’re interested, we’re happy to discuss the possibilities – please complete the contact form below or email directly to info@colebycentre.com
- [Training For Therapists](https://colebycentre.com/blog-grid/): Health January 23, 2025 Mindful Moments: Navigating Mental Health READ MORE Psychology January 23, 2025 Current Trends and Timeless Wisdom READ MORE Therapy January 23, 2025 Psychology Unpacked: Exploring the Human Mind READ MORE Trauma January 23, 2025 Reflecting on Mental Health READ MORE Trauma January 23, 2025 Your Journey to Mental Wellness READ MORE Therapy January 23, 2025 The Science of Thought and Memory READ MORE Psychology January 23, 2025 Psychology for Raising Resilient Kids READ MORE Trauma January 23, 2025 Managing Your Stress and Worry READ MORE Health January 23, 2025 Practical Psychological Tools for Life READ MORE […]
- [Home](https://colebycentre.com/): When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to changing ourselves -Viktor Frankl Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples In person & Online Our lifestyles are more hectic and stressful than ever, at some point most of us find that life can be challenging and we all need a little help and support. The Coleby Centre is a private independent therapy and training centre, established in 2000 by Gill Coleby. Some of our therapists work from the therapy centre based in Sidcup, Kent and some work online – whether you want to work with […]
- [About Us](https://colebycentre.com/about-us/): about us about us As a private therapy centre there are no lengthy waiting lists and you are not restricted to a few sessions of CBT. The therapists at the Coleby Centre offer flexibility and choice about when you come, receiving the type of therapy that’s right for you, and at a pace that suits you. The therapists offer sessions from early in the morning to late at night, also at the weekend, so there is plenty of scope to find a time to suit your lifestyle. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT There are a wide range of therapies available for Adults, […]
- [Contact](https://colebycentre.com/contact/): We’re Here to provide you assistance Reach Out to Us Anytime for Support and Guidance Get in touch if you have a general enquiry or would like to discuss therapy sessions. We are Here: Coleby Centre, 1st Floor, 2 Alma Road, SIDCUP, Kent DA14 4EA Contact Us: Gill@colebycentre.com 07956 573774 We are in Socials: Fb. X. Ins. Lk. Drop Us a Line Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Your name Your email Subject Your message (optional) Δ
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- [Self-Aware](https://colebycentre.com/product/self-aware/): This book is a comprehensive guide that delves into the fascinating world of psychology, exploring the incredible capabilities of the human brain. This book offers readers a deeper understanding of how the mind works, shedding light on cognitive functions, emotional intelligence, memory, and the factors that influence our behavior and decision-making processes.
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